collacentaur: (rosebud)
Today, the message is that Grandma has died (really, this time), about two hours ago.

After seeing her Saturday afternoon, I can't even be sad about it. I'm just relieved. It isn't just about ending the suffering. To me, quality and dignity of life are much more important than length of life. As of Saturday, quality was dubious at best, and dignity was completely gone. I wasn't sure I'd be able to make myself go back next weekend. I'm sure I'll be sad later, and a mess at the funeral, but at the moment I see it only as a blessing.

Probably the funeral will be Thursday. I'll put up some more details when I have them.
collacentaur: (Default)
So, got home to find a message on my cell phone's voicemail.

Apparently, when my mom reached the Evergreens, she found that Grandma had woken up and was cheerfully visiting with everyone. (So, clearly this morning's message really was "we think it's going to happen" and not "we don't want to tell you it already happened until you're here.")

Of course this is wonderful news, but I hope we're not going to have this back-and-forth for weeks. I can't take the grief and waiting to be told what to do on a regular basis.

And all I can really think of is a Monty Python bit.

Thank you all for the messages of support. They were needed, and apparently will be again.
collacentaur: (rosebud)
From: Lucas, John A
To: "Alex (business)", Stephanie Lucas
Date: Jan 31, 2006 8:52 AM
Subject: The message we've been dreading

Mom got a call from Tricia, the hospice nurse. Grandma either has died or is expected to do so today. I do not have further details. Mom, of course, is driving down in an hour or so. I am at work today. When more information and plans are known, one of us will be in touch.

I am very glad I stayed longer than I had planned when I visited her on Sunday.

This was a shock to come in to this morning. She had looked comparatively good on Sunday, and I was planning to be back on Saturday, and we were tentatively planning things into the following week. I would have guessed this would be 3-4 weeks from now.

I'm afraid this is not going to be a very productive day for me.
collacentaur: (Default)
How the time does fly... )

In summary: It may not all be good, but at least it's good enough.


collacentaur: (Default)

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